Love Living, Quit Hating, Everyone Relating

Posts Tagged ‘age’

Sway’s Sound Off:Women in Their 20’s Looking for the Ring

In Sound Off on August 3, 2010 at 5:10 pm

In the past couple of years I’ve noticed a trend. I get on Facebook and notice that I don’t recognize a good number of people on my friends list. Then I click on their profiles and realize I do know them, they just have different last names because they’ve jumped the broom. Being a 20-something woman in America, I realize this isn’t so unusual. But it definitely has me wondering why females my age are using their early 20’s to settle down?

When they say birds of a feather flock together, it’s proven to be true for me. All of my good friends who are in my age group are still unmarried. So I am still getting used to the idea of other people I know getting married at my age.  I believe that the fact that my friends and I went away for college and didn’t move back home may have something to do with us still being unmarried.

Nevertheless, there are several young women who have followed the route my friend’s and I have, and still get married in their early 20’s. I’ve never understood it personally. The 20’s are the time in life where you are just beginning to live life.  In a typical situation, you graduate from college, get a full-time job, move out on your own and start doing the “grown things” like paying bills and rent. Now I know that everyone’s situation isn’t the same, and that not everyone should be categorized in such a cookie cutter description of life during this period, but the one thing that all young 20-something’s share is the fact that we are all still figuring ourselves out.

To add someone else in the mix that you have an obligation to for the rest of your life, just seems to complicate things in my opinion.  I’m not against relationships during this time. It’s great to have someone around that you love, to share your ups and downs and new experiences of adulthood with. I just don’t see the rush in getting married in your early 20’s, even if you feel like you have found the one.

Who you are at 22 is not who you are at 28 or 29 (hopefully!). One could argue that who someone is at 29 is not who they are at 35 so why get married then? Why? Because you have given yourself enough time to learn about yourself. You have given yourself enough chance to experience yourself. You are not as fickle when it comes to wants, likes, and dislikes. You’ve given yourself a chance to become a fully responsible well-rounded adult.

A marriage is more than a trip to Kleinfeld, a blinging ring to show off, and a change in your last name. Up to this point I’m sure you have pledged portions of your life to things that are temporary; like a few years of school, living in different locations, and changing jobs. But being a wife is a new full-time job you pledge your life to forever. Not to mention, after marriage, every decision you make as a wife has to be compatible with the life of your new counterpart. 

Ladies, why not give yourself a chance to see who you can grow to be in these early 20’s? 18 years of your life have been spent answering to your parents/guardians and now you have a chance to answer to no one but yourself. Live up these years you have to make any decision you want for yourself.

I am by no means trying to say that marriage as a whole is negative and I don’t look down on anyone who gets married at a young age (I am actually intrigued by those who do, just because I can’t imagine doing it myself). Everyone does what they think is best for them. All I am saying is that marriage is forever and your 20’s are not, so take advantage of this time to do you. You will appreciate the fact that you did once you do choose to make the big leap.



%d bloggers like this: