Love Living, Quit Hating, Everyone Relating

Being the Wing(wo)man

In Compatibility on March 2, 2011 at 3:48 pm

  written by Sway

I just realized recently that out of the majority of my friends, I am one of the only ones that is in a relationship. Times that were once spent going on double and triple dates with my man in tow, are now just my man and I or us surrounded by a group of single friends.

And by all means, I have no problem with it. There have been times in the past where I was one of the few single people in my circle so it’s not that big of deal to me.

So it seems that having the “booed up” status has automatically earned me the new title of wingman…ahem wing woman for my friends when we go out. And though I don’t feel like the expert, I thought I’d write some tips on how to be the perfect wing woman based off of my experiences. Note: These tips are not gender specific and can be applied to wingmen also.

BE ENCOURAGING– So you’re out and about and one of your friends sees someone they find attractive but may not feel comfortable approaching them. Encourage them to talk to them! And if they are too shy, remember that’s what you are there for…lol.

CONFIDENCE IS KEY-Maybe you aren’t normally assertive or outgoing when it comes to approaching the opposite sex, but if you plan on being a wingwoman, you have to let shyness go by the waistside. There’s no way to get someone’s attention or make a memorable impression on someone if you don’t have that initial confidence.

KNOW YOUR ROLE– If you are single, avoid being greedy, and trying to steal someone away from your friend. That defeats the whole purpose of being a wingwoman in the first place. Know your purpose! You are aiding your friend in their romantic pursuits, not in your own (and if you are taken, you should be ashamed of yourself).

FILL IN THE BLANKS– You know, it’s funny. I’ve realized that there has to be a certain balance when it comes to playing the wingwoman. You are there to come in where your friend may fall short and you want to get the interest of your friend’s conquest, but not so much so that they are more interested in you than her. I know that there is no way of preventing someone being attracted to you over your friend, but keeping your friend as the main focus when breaking the ice with her conquest should help you to draw a clear line in showing them what your motives are. Your duty as a wingwoman isn’t to knock your friend out of the limelight and steal her shine, it’s to present her in the most appealing way possible. Which leads me to this next point…

DON’T OVER-DO IT-You want to present her in the most appealing way possible but that doesn’t mean going on and on rattling off a list of her life accomplishments. You are not a used car salesman, so please don’t try and sell your friend to her conquest. If they are interested in her, they will be open to your approach. If not,  move on. Think of yourself as her recruiter, not her spokesperson. Your job is to recruit, introduce, and let things happen from there.

KNOW WHEN TO PULL OUT-(That’s what she said?)<PAUSE> The introduction is made between your friend and her conquest. If they are hitting it off quite well, then that’s when you know you can dust your shoulders off for a job well done. There’s no need in lurking around unless you ALL are having a good time. So it’s up to you to gage when three is a crowd. But let’s just say she’s not feeling him after a while and doesn’t have the courage to tell him? Feel free to assist in removing herself from the situation. If your friend seems stuck, give her lines to get out. Her saying she “needs to get back to her friends” as a reason to cut her conversation short with her now ex-conquest is acceptable. There is absolutely nothing wrong using your friends as an excuse!

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