Love Living, Quit Hating, Everyone Relating

Sway’s Sound Off:Facebook-The Relationship Murderer?

In Uncategorized on August 24, 2010 at 2:42 pm

 written by Sway

Listen up people, one recipe for success in a relationship is SECURITY. I’m not talking about denial of any of your significant other’s wrong doing, but assurance that your relationship is solid, strong, and long lasting to the point that no outside influences can break it down.

But there is one major outside influence I’ve seen many relationships deteriorate from.

That would be your good old buddy…FACEBOOK.

Awhile back when Facebook first came out, people wrote whatever they wanted on walls, requested people to be their friends just because they had cute profile pictures, and commented on everything without censors. Then all of a sudden one day everyone logged in and saw that their home page was infiltrated with all of their friends’ activity. Facebook introduced the beloved news-feed system. Funny enough shortly after this happened, I noticed people who were “In a Relationship” were now “Single”. And Facebook hasn’t been the same since.

Long gone are the days where you had to sneak a peek into your boyfriend or girlfriend’s phone to see if they were being unfaithful. Now all it takes is one click on Facebook to get answers to all your snooping ventures. Clicking your significant other’s wall-to-wall activity with someone, comments from other people, and who they befriend, is enough to satisfy anyone’s suspicions. Because Facebook is a reliable source that tells you what you want to know with a little investigative work….right?……right?

Great! She's out the room, perfect time to look at her Facebook...and feed your INSECURITY/




 You cannot decipher how someone means anything they write on Facebook and be 100% sure about it. Much like texting, you cannot always tell the tone of how someone is saying something because so many things written on Facebook are subjective. So while it’s easy to create the tone to your significant other’s comments on Facebook (especially if an insecurity or some distrust factor is lingering within your relationship) remember that you can’t always take everything for face value. Especially on a social networking site where some people make it their mission to create an online facade of their own life, based on what they write about themselves and what they write to others.

I’m not at all saying you should be naive in any situation where you feel your partner is being dishonest with you (If your partner has a history of cheating or lying then this post doesn’t really apply to you. The questionable things you see them writing on Facebook are likely to hold some weight). But if you are in a happy relationship and using Facebook to “check up” on your partner to try and catch them misbehaving, that’s not conducive at all. Trying to make up scenarios over comments written on their wall by the opposite sex is doing too much! How many times has someone written something on your wall that could be read a number of ways? Snooping and assuming you know what their Facebook activity means, isn’t showing that your boyfriend or girlfriend is stepping out on you. It’s more of a testament to your lack of security within the relationship.

Remember, spying on your boyfriend or girlfriend online is only going to feed that insecurity. Especially if you aren’t communicating with your partner about your feelings, you are bound to keep things to yourself and act off of your own conclusions. And if you feel they are abusing Facebook (or any other social network) a discussion is most definitely in order. <Don’t worry, we’ll touch on that topic in another post!>



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