Love Living, Quit Hating, Everyone Relating

Holler At Your Girl

In Uncategorized on July 27, 2010 at 11:28 am

Meeting a girl at a random place..tricky but do-able!/

  While the post “Don’t Holler at Your Girl” was catered to the young impressionable college girl, this post applies to males of all ages

Fellas, have you ever wondered the best way to start talking to a girl that you don’t know but are attracted to?

Do you have your typical lines that just don’t seem to work like they used to?

Ever get choked up trying to what to say when you first meet a girl?

Well guess what?  You are probably not alone. But unfortunately in most cases you will be placed in situations where you will be responsible for approaching a girl in order to get to know her. What’s the best way to do this you ask?

Before I answer that question I want to give a disclaimer that every technique for hollering at a girl does not work across the board. Just like some girls may not appreciate a guy yelling at her from across the street, some may find that technique charming (and I use that word very loosely).

You know what’s always worked in the past when a guy tried to holler at me?

A situation that is  seems natural and unforced.

That’s it. Of course there had to be the right amount of initial physical attraction to the guy, but besides that, those two things were vital in me wanting the first conversation to go further.

Now depending on the environment you are placed in, this may be harder to achieve. Let’s say you are in an environment where you don’t necessarily expect to see someone you would be attracted to (i.e. the grocery store, gas station, at the bank, any random place, etc). You are going to have to be really creative with these environments. If you want to spark a conversation with a girl you see in a random place you should keep these things in mind:

Time factor– The less time you have ,the harder it will be to catch a girls’ attention enough to spark a conversation that will lead to something further (unless you are both standing in a really long line somewhere)

Place– Recognize that some places are just not appropriate to chat up a girl (like sitting in the pews at church perhaps?)

Knowing your motivation– Do you just want to chat up a girl you see for the sake of it, or do you want the conversation to end with you getting her number?

Knowing these things will drive how the conversation will flow. In a random place, it’s always good to use the environment as inspiration for the conversation starter. For example:

Say you see a girl you’re attracted to at a clothing store in the mall. She’s shopping around alone. Pick up a couple items of clothing from the men’s department, bring them over to her and say,

“Excuse me I don’t mean to interrupt you but I was wondering if I could ask your opinion on something?”

For the sake of the example, she says “yes.”

“I’m going to a ___________(insert event or function here), and I kind of wanted to of break out the box of what I usually wear. Which one of these _______(insert article of clothing here) do you think would look better?”

Maybe you are fibbing about having an event to go to and that’s fine. At this point the girl will probably be a bit engaged. Why? Because out of all of the people in the store, you asked for her opinion. Right off the bat she feels valued that you would take what she says into consideration and you two don’t even know each other yet.

Hopefully the conversation can take off from here.  Getting her attention may seem like the hardest step but sustaining the conversation enough for you to get what you want in the end is actually harder. Always remember to pay attention to her body language because it never lies. If she seems flustered or in a rush then maybe it’s not the best time to be asking for her number. Be respectful and polite. Don’t ask her if she has a man/boyfriend/someone she is seeing. This automatically tells her that your intention is to be that, or something of the like. It will make the situation seem unnatural, and will most likely turn her off.

When it comes to a point in the conversation where you want to ask for her number, don’t just say “So, can I get your number?”  A better question would be “Do you think I could call you sometime, I would really love to continue this conversation over dinner/coffee etc….” Tell her how why you want her number.

The worse she could say is no. And if she does, don’t ask her why, or pressure the situation. Tell her you enjoyed speaking to her and appreciate her opinion (if you used the example above).

For those situations where you will be in a social setting and you expect to see females you will be attracted to (concerts, barbeques/picnics, the club/bar), there are less things to worry about for your approach.  Even with that said, you still want to come correct. The positive with social settings, is that the environment is catered for you to get to know new people, and show your charisma, and the time factor provides you more of an opportunity to do that. You also have more time to get a better idea on if you want to take things further from the inital conversation.

At the end of the day, what girl wants is to be in a comfortable and natural situation, but to also see your real personality. We can smell when a man is trying to hard, so just don’t!



  1. SWAY,
    You are so on point with everything stated in this post. (if you were a dude, you’d def have “G”– no homo-lol) I’ve always said love comes best when your not looking.. and more importantly when it feels NATURAL!
    For all the men out there: You should already know that most women dream/fantasize about all of the romantics that accompany a relationship and being in love; Ergo its only natural that your first interaction with her should follow suit. (IE. ROMANTIC = smooth and natural) No woman wants to think of your first interaction as her falling victim to “Game”. Romantic is much more appealing don’t you think? Bottom line, when you’re approaching a girl just repeat these 6 words to yourself….”to G is not to G” 😉

  2. Never coeeidsrnd my blogging as a means to land dates. Think I scare people more than attract them. So tell me PhillyGrrl contributors, have any of gone on an actual date with someone you met through the blog? Dish.

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