Anniversaries: Overrated or Necessary?

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I look at anniversaries for a relationship the same way I look at Valentines Day… 

1. It’s one more day for card companies to make money 

2. I think girls look forward to the day more than guys do (generally speaking) 

3. As a result of #2, guys are most likely stuck with the pressure of planning the “best night yet” for his significant other (so that when she reports back to her girlfriends she’ll have something exciting or romantic to tell them about) 

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years and we have yet to celebrate an “official” anniversary. This wasn’t a conscious decision, just something we never got around to planning. Was I upset about it? Honestly, no. The reason being because I’m not the type of girl who needs a card or a fancy dinner to validate a year-long relationship. Because we have shared so many great and special moments in the past that have validated our relationship for me, not setting special plans for the date we got together didn’t affect me. 

I see an anniversary as a two-part definition. It is a reoccurrence of a past date and a commemoration of the occurence. Regardless if the commemoration happens, the reoccurrence of the date will always happen. 

So are anniversaries overrated or necessary? 

I think its overrated when I hear girls gushing about exchanging gifts with their boyfriends for making “six whole months” with them, or celebrating the “first date”, etc. Not to be a Debbie Downer on the lovey-dovey stuff, but let’s get to a real milestone people (I’m talking a year or longer)!  While I do feel that it’s great to celebrate a relationship on it’s anniversary, it is not necessary for a healthy, sustainable relationship. It should not be a main focus of the relationship. 

I think the main focus should be on the quality of the relationship more than the quality of the celebration of the relationship. If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend that makes you happy, keeps you motivated, communicates with you, is honest, trustworthy, loyal, and all that jazz, then appreciate that. 

And there is nothing wrong with celebrating that. Rewarding your partner for being who they are and loving you is great. Just remember that you don’t need the anniversary date to come up to do that. Let everyday you share with them be a celebration. Savor the moments you have with your partner. Don’t take the time you have with them for granted. Do all of these things and once the anniversary date comes up, it will almost seem like just another day with no pressure added. 

At the end of the day when it comes to choosing how or whether to celebrate, that’s a decision both you and your significant other have to agree upon. It’s good to make sure you are both on the same page with what you expect. I’d say the best way to bring it up is in a casual conversation, and by asking your partner what their views are when it comes to celebrating anniversaries (prior to the anniversary date of course). 

Also keep in mind: There will be plenty of other times during the year where you can go the extra mile to show your boyfriend or girlfriend how much you love them (Christmas, birthdays, and once you get married, etc). 

 Sway

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