Love Living, Quit Hating, Everyone Relating

Go Make Me a Sam’ich, Woman!!

In Love, Relationships on July 22, 2010 at 12:14 pm

I have been noticing an unnerving trend as of late. I keep meeting women who are young, beautiful, ambitous, and charismatic. These very same women, with all of their wonderful talents and potential, would much rather be housewives. NOOOOOO!!!!

I’ll be honset, I don’t know everyone’s motivation. I also don’t want to minimize the work it requires to bear child and be a mother. But it still bothers me to no avail.

As a man, when I get married and have children, my motivation will be to keep them safe and to provide world-class experiences. I will always want to see my wife happy and without worry, but say I get married and have a decent income. What if my wife then decides to frolic around for a couple years before we have children?

Here in lies the problem, I am holding up my end of the bargin. I am providing security, safety and luxury. All things my wife deserves (along with the emotional requirements). But she isn’t holding up her end.

Two people enter into a relationship. Two complete individuals are necessary and like Hydrogen and Oxygen, two unique entities combine to create something neither resembled beforehand H2O. I wouldn’t want  to be with anyone that defined herself mainly by her relationship to me. That’s what bothers me. If my wife decided to be a housewife, then that’s cool.
Hopefully, she has a passion that she is pursuing wholeheartedly.
Hopefully, she is still engaged in life.
Hopefully, she is still maturing and seeking experiences.
Hopefully, she is continuing to learn about herself and how she relates to the world.
Hopefully, she continues to distinguish herself as the woman I was intially attracted to. 
Hopefully, the person I committed myself to was not a facade.

It’s not that being a housewife is something we should all look down upon. My mom (AKA Dr. Mommy) was a housewife for 20 some odd years. When she felt the time was right, she went back to school and back to work. Neither the academics, the job, or her role as a mother completely defined her. She was a mixed back of amazing. She held us down and kept things like this from happening:

So in the end it’s really about the way these women bring up their desire to be a housewife. Always non-provoked and with a tinge of “Oh I wish I didn’t have to work.” I question their motivation because it’s beginning to look like a few of them just want to live out a role in Real Housewives of <Insert City>.

Question: If you were a housewife and then something happens forcing you to support yourself because your husband is no longer in the picture, are you more likely to look for a new job or a new husband?




Update: Comments have been enabled

  1. I understand that being a housewife is not necessarily an easy job! Some women and even men are sometimes forced to be the person that stays at home to take care of the family and household vs. providing/contributing via cashflow to the home/family. These situations can be due to several things, e.g. lack of funds to afford a babysitter/nanny!

    But on the flip side of things, women or men who would just simply prefer to stay at home, while their significant other actually contributes their talents to society and still provides the necessary income to satisfy the needs of the family – make me want to throw up! If this is truly one’s goal – how do they justify their purpose in life. If this is all you aspire to ever be and you feel like this is the “good life,” then please explain to us all your rationale as to why you want to be at home (I’ll wait)? But the real question is how did this person get to this point? What lead up to this person believing that this was an acceptable goal to pursue? Who or what raised this person?

    The truth of the matter is – if to be a housewife is your goal (woman or man), you should probably re-evaluate your priorities in life. At this point your a mere half-a-person with no real purpose or drive. What you need to do is find out what your talent is, what your passion is and pursue that! Because until that point, you may never be considered a whole (well-rounded) person!

  2. I think it would be worth distinguishing between A) the person who stays at home because they believe their best bet at contributing to society is by raising a family and B) the person who is looking to be supported throughout their life because of their aversion to responsiblilty.

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