Love Living, Quit Hating, Everyone Relating

I Like You, I Love You Not

In Love, Relationships on July 21, 2010 at 2:01 pm

There’s always one major hurdle to jump over while being in a long-term serious relationship. It’s the three magical words that seem to change everything…

I love you.

In half of the long-term relationships I’ve been, in I’ve been the first to say “I love you”. In the others, my boyfriends were the first. In that aspect, I believe this post applies to my ladies as well as the guys.

When you first realize that you love your significant other, the feeling can go from happiness and exhilaration, to panicky when you attempt to figure out if they feel the same way. You may second guess the feeling to see if it’s real and once you discover it is, you realize you have to deal with it accordingly.

In those instances when I realized I loved my boyfriends before the three words were exchanged, I tried to hold out on telling them for as long as I could  to see if they would say it to me first (okay, I admit to having a great amount of PRIDE). When it didn’t happen, I made the choice to tell them anyway.

I’m not saying this is the best way to go about it, but the benefit was that by the time I expressed how I felt, I was so sure of my feelings that I was able to say it with confidence. This was vital because saying those three words was not something I took lightly.

For me, it was a pivotal point in the relationship where I was telling my man, who I not only cared for immensely, that I was willing to be there for them through the thick of it. I was using those three words to say that I wanted to be there for them emotionally and mentally on a deeper level that is akin to unconditional love.

If you love your girlfriend or boyfriend and want to tell them, make sure you are confident in what you feel. Also ask yourself what loving them means to you? Once you tell them that you love them, telling them how you mean it will give them a good sense of where you stand.

If they don’t say it back right away, please don’t trip out. Think about it…maybe they are still figuring out how they feel and want to make sure they are comfortable before they make the big “L-word leap”. The worse thing you can do is pressuring them to say it back. This puts them in an uncomfortable position and besides, wouldn’t you want them to say it to you only if they truly felt the same way?

On the flip side, if you are on the receiving end of the L-word it may seem like you have it easy but, there is still room for error. The biggest mistake you could make when your boo says “I love you” is saying “I love you” back and not meaning it (that’s a pretty big lie)! Love isn’t just a noun, it’s a verb. So if you say you love someone you have to show them. Why put yourself through the trouble of faking an emotion?  Say it when you feel it. Your partner should understand.

Make sure you keep the lines of communication open with them about how you feel about them. Even if you aren’t ready to say “I love you”, you can still reassure them that you are with them for a reason. The day you are ready to tell them, they will be that much more appreciative of it.



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