Love Living, Quit Hating, Everyone Relating

Bag Lady

In Emotions, Relationships on July 16, 2010 at 1:36 pm

He was the man of you dreams and broke your heart. Or maybe he wasn’t but your ego is still bruised from a break up. You may be a bit depressed and start spending your weekends at home, eating cookie dough ice cream in bed, watching re-runs of Keepin Up with the Kardashians (okay yes ladies I have been there). Your girls have convinced you to a night out on the town. Maybe during some drinking, some dancing, and straight up foolishness, you meet someone and exchange numbers. Weeks later you are hanging out with him on a regular basis.

Things are going great and new dude is everything your ex wasn’t. He wants to take things more seriously so this is the perfect time to get into a relationship that seems to have good potential right?


No matter how good this guy makes you feel and how much less you think of your ex, you must ask yourself if you are completely ready to give your heart away again.

My experience has shown that too many girls jump into new relationships before the wounds of the previous ones have healed. They want so quickly to get over “what’s-his-name” that they find a new “what’s-his-name” to take his spot thinking this is the way to move on. *This is a bit different than a “Time Filler” which I will discuss in an upcoming post*

Jumping into a new relationship while still dealing with insecurities from the last is just a set up for failure.

Not only are you being unfair to the new person you are dating (because part of you is still focused on what went wrong with your ex), you are being unfair to yourself. If you are still bitter about what happened with the ex then a new relationship is not the solution.

Ladies, no matter how good the new guy is for you, give yourself time to get over your past heartbreak.  There is no set amount of time it takes to get over a relationship but luckily for us we have a thing we like to ignore called intuition to help us along the way. If you feel pressured by new dude to get into a relationship with him before you are ready, then maybe he isn’t the one for you.

Listen to your intuition, and it will be beneficial in the end. One key to a successful relationship is timing, and both parties must be ready to open their heart to each other in order to thrive as a couple. So let go of your baggage, roll-ons, and duffle bags before boarding the plane to love (you can only keep a small purse with you at most!).


  1. Everybody has baggage, but you right about one thing. Keep ya baggage to a minimum. Don’t drag that ISH around and keep it proudly on display. There is nothing worse than when right off bat I’m being told what I can and cannot do or what I can and cannot say.

    • Thanks for this post. I dleenitify agree with what you are saying. I have been talking about this subject mortgage bankers long island

  2. […] know, Sway’s been speaking some truth about Emotional Baggage over on the Bag Lady post. It got me wondering though. Why it is such a big deal and why can’t people just learn […]

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